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Image 1 of 1
You have done this before. Different person, same dynamic. Someone who is charming and warm and then just slightly out of reach, someone who gives you just enough to keep you hooked but never quite enough to feel secure, or someone who is interested and then not, present and then gone, available and then suddenly very busy. And you keep choosing them. And you do not know why.
The answer is not that you have bad taste or that you love the chase or that you are addicted to drama. The answer is that emotionally unavailable people feel familiar to you in a way that emotionally available ones often do not. And familiar, even when it is painful, reads to the nervous system as safe.
This worksheet is about tracing that pattern all the way back to where it started, understanding why availability can feel threatening when you have never had consistent access to it, and starting to build the capacity to choose something different, not just know that you should, but actually be able to.
What's inside:
✦ Why unavailability triggers attraction rather than repelling it, and the specific nervous system reason for that
✦ The connection between your early attachment experiences and who you find compelling now
✦ An honest look at what emotional unavailability has given you, because it has given you something, and understanding that is key to changing the pattern
✦ Deep reflection prompts to trace the pattern back to its origin
✦ A self-assessment of the specific qualities you keep gravitating toward and what they are doing for you
✦ What availability actually feels like versus what you have been chasing, and why one might feel exciting and the other boring at first
✦ Practical steps toward building a new template for what feels like love
You are not forever fucked for having this pattern. You are responding predictably to a blueprint that was written a long time ago. This worksheet helps you rewrite it.
Printable PDF. Yours forever.
You have done this before. Different person, same dynamic. Someone who is charming and warm and then just slightly out of reach, someone who gives you just enough to keep you hooked but never quite enough to feel secure, or someone who is interested and then not, present and then gone, available and then suddenly very busy. And you keep choosing them. And you do not know why.
The answer is not that you have bad taste or that you love the chase or that you are addicted to drama. The answer is that emotionally unavailable people feel familiar to you in a way that emotionally available ones often do not. And familiar, even when it is painful, reads to the nervous system as safe.
This worksheet is about tracing that pattern all the way back to where it started, understanding why availability can feel threatening when you have never had consistent access to it, and starting to build the capacity to choose something different, not just know that you should, but actually be able to.
What's inside:
✦ Why unavailability triggers attraction rather than repelling it, and the specific nervous system reason for that
✦ The connection between your early attachment experiences and who you find compelling now
✦ An honest look at what emotional unavailability has given you, because it has given you something, and understanding that is key to changing the pattern
✦ Deep reflection prompts to trace the pattern back to its origin
✦ A self-assessment of the specific qualities you keep gravitating toward and what they are doing for you
✦ What availability actually feels like versus what you have been chasing, and why one might feel exciting and the other boring at first
✦ Practical steps toward building a new template for what feels like love
You are not forever fucked for having this pattern. You are responding predictably to a blueprint that was written a long time ago. This worksheet helps you rewrite it.
Printable PDF. Yours forever.