5 Common Myths About Polyamory, Debunked

Polyamory is a relationship structure that has gained visibility in recent years, but with that visibility has come a wave of misconceptions. As a consensual, ethical approach to non-monogamy, polyamory often challenges traditional norms, which can lead to misunderstandings and myths. In this post, we’ll address five of the most common myths about polyamory and set the record straight.

Myth 1: Polyamory Is Just Cheating

Reality: Cheating involves dishonesty and breaking agreements within a relationship. Polyamory, on the other hand, is built on open communication, honesty, and consent.

Polyamorous people create agreements with their partners about how their relationships will function, including what boundaries and expectations everyone is comfortable with. In polyamory, transparency is key—there’s no sneaking around or hiding relationships.

Myth 2: Polyamorous People Don’t Get Jealous

Reality: Jealousy is a natural human emotion, and polyamorous people are not immune to it.

The difference lies in how jealousy is addressed. Rather than avoiding or denying it, polyamorous individuals often see jealousy as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. They may explore what’s causing the feeling, communicate openly with their partners, and work together to navigate those emotions. In fact, jealousy often coexists with compersion, a term used in polyamory to describe joy in seeing a partner experience happiness with someone else.

Myth 3: Polyamory Is All About Sex

Reality: While sexual relationships can be part of polyamory, they are not the sole focus.

Polyamory is about building meaningful, consensual relationships—whether they’re romantic, emotional, or sexual. Some polyamorous relationships are deeply intimate without being sexual, while others prioritize emotional connection over physical intimacy. Reducing polyamory to just sex dismisses the diverse and complex ways people connect with one another.

Myth 4: Polyamorous People Can’t Commit

Reality: Polyamorous people are capable of deep, lasting commitments—sometimes to multiple partners.

Commitment in polyamory doesn’t mean exclusivity; it means being reliable, present, and accountable in your relationships. Many polyamorous people maintain long-term partnerships, raise families, and build deeply connected lives with multiple partners. Their commitment is to honesty, respect, and fulfilling the agreements they’ve made.

Myth 5: Polyamory Is Just a Phase

Reality: For many, polyamory is a legitimate, long-term relationship orientation—not a passing experiment.

While some people may explore polyamory as part of their journey to understanding themselves and their relationship preferences, for others, it’s a core part of their identity. Just as monogamy works for some people and not for others, polyamory is a valid, sustainable relationship structure that many people practice for their entire lives.

Why These Myths Matter

These myths not only misrepresent polyamory but also contribute to stigma and misunderstanding about non-monogamous relationships. By challenging these misconceptions, we create more space for honest conversations and a broader acceptance of diverse relationship styles.

Polyamory isn’t about replacing monogamy or proving it’s "better"—it’s about choice and authenticity. When we understand and respect the principles behind polyamory, we can appreciate it as a legitimate and ethical way to build connections.

Polyamory, like any relationship style, isn’t for everyone. But debunking myths and fostering understanding helps create a world where everyone—whether monogamous or polyamorous—can love authentically without judgment.

What myths about polyamory have you encountered? Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments below!